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With five gold medals from the Olympics, a knighthood, and a net worth of £13 million, Bradley Wiggins once appeared to have everything.
However, in June, the sports legend faced bankruptcy due to over £1 million in debts, and it was revealed that he was homeless, living on his ex-wife’s couch after losing his home valued at £975,000.
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Now at the age of 44, he has opened up about his battle with depression, his fight with alcohol, and how his 19-year-old son Ben feared for his life during a period when he isolated himself in a dim hotel room last November.
During a heartfelt conversation on The High Performance Podcast, he noted: “There were some extremely intense moments. The last of which occurred about a year ago; I won’t go into too much detail.
“I found myself in quite a grim space, trapped in a dark room for several days, in a hotel. It was my son who intervened and helped me recognize the self-destructive behaviors I was exhibiting.
“There were multiple underlying issues that contributed to this.”
“I’ve always faced challenges that made happiness feel elusive, with something perpetually nagging in the background. Yet I’ve come to terms with the understanding that a clear path may never materialize.
“I’ve realized that we’re born into struggles, and it’s about how we navigate those struggles throughout our lives.”
“Initially, I was hesitant to seek therapy. I thought, ‘No therapist could truly comprehend what I experience mentally.’”
He revealed that he is now in a “content place” and is eager to reclaim a significant portion of the money owed by his company, which has ballooned to £2 million since his bankruptcy.
Wiggins has cited an unexpected source of support – disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong.
The seven-time Tour de France champion – stripped of his titles and given a lifetime ban after admitting to doping – has become a close friend and recently offered to pay for his therapy for the first time.
Brave Sir Bradley Wiggins reflects on the horrific sexual abuse he suffered as a child at the hands of an elderly cycling coach
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After initially turning down the invitation, he now believes he’s in a better mental place to accept it.
He stated: “Lance has been a tremendous support to me over recent years, especially this year. We’ve discussed the possibility of therapy, and he wishes to fund my stay at a well-known facility in Atlanta for a week.”
“He genuinely has good intentions. While his past actions are sadly regrettable, they don’t wholly encapsulate who he is. There is indeed a compassionate side to him.”
Battles with Alcohol
Bradley began articulating his mental health struggles two years ago, exacerbated by a challenging childhood that involved sexual abuse from a former coach.
His father, Gary, was a cyclist who battled alcoholism and addiction, choosing to leave the family when Bradley was just 18 months old, only to reappear in his life when Bradley turned 19 after finding success in cycling.
However, even after their reunion, his father’s cruel words haunted him, insisting that Bradley would “never be as good as your old man.”
During a particularly dark moment, I shattered all my trophies off the mantelpiece because I was consumed with the thought, ‘What purpose do these meaningless items serve?’
Bradley
Between the ages of 13 and 16, Bradley endured sexual abuse at the hands of coach Stan Knight, who sadly passed away in 2003.
Throughout his distinguished career, he earned eight Olympic medals, including five golds, and made history as the first Brit to win the Tour de France in 2012.
Yet, after retiring in 2016, he recognized that cycling had served as a distraction from his troubling past, and his struggles resurfaced even stronger.
In a recent interview on this week’s High Performance podcast, he conveyed that the abuse deeply impacted him, but over the past year, he has developed coping mechanisms.
He shared: “I’m honestly in the most stable state I’ve been in at 44 years of age.”
“This is largely due to my experiences in the depths of hardship, having weathered dark periods in many forms.”
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“I used to blame my success, but I now understand that it was a complex interplay of various factors. The last five years have been spent working through that in my mind.”
“I’ve accepted responsibility for my life and am no longer in a position to blame others.”
The Impact of My Son
When asked what inspired him to take ownership, he credited his son Ben, 19, who is also pursuing a career in cycling, for pulling him out of a “very dark space” on November 20 last year, which was also the day that marked his father’s 71st birthday, a day tinged with sadness as Bradley’s father was tragically murdered in 2008.
His father succumbed to a head injury following a confrontation at a party in New South Wales, Australia, with no charges ever being laid in connection with his demise.
Following the incident in the hotel room, Ben expressed his concern that he might one day receive a call regarding his father’s potential suicide.
Initially, Bradley thought that opening up about his struggles would help him cope, but he soon realized it had an adverse effect.
He explained: “In sharing my journey, I began to see myself as a martyr – someone who had endured hardship and could guide others while neglecting my own need for assistance.”
“Two years ago, I thought I was doing fine, but I failed to see that I was indulging in destructive patterns – smoking, drinking, and pretending everything was okay. However, I’m genuinely on a positive path now.”
He characterized himself as an “avoider,” someone who buried trauma while seeking success in cycling. However, post-2012, when he achieved his fifth Olympic gold medal and subsequently triumphed in the Tour de France, he found himself overwhelmed.
“Winning an Olympic gold, standing on that podium days after the Tour de France victory, left me wondering, ‘What’s next?’ and straining to cope with that situation,” he recounted.
“Nothing could replace that moment, with its significance and the legions of fans cheering me on.”
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“The Sun was distributing sideburns on the newspaper front pages that day.”
A Period of Darkness
Later that year, Bradley received the BBC Sports Personality of the Year award and was knighted in the New Year Honours list of 2013. However, he later redirected his struggles into his accolades.
He recounted: “During one of my darker periods, I destroyed all my trophies from the mantelpiece because I felt, ‘What value do these serve?’
“I discarded my Sports Personality of the Year award and my knighthood – symbols that supposedly affirmed my greatness, but I grappled deeply with the worth of my accomplishments concerning my status in my family and society.”
“I sought to convey in an incredibly misguided manner, during a distorted state of mind, that these belongings held no significance, they were simply remnants of waste.”
The significant source of pain that led me to question my existence stemmed from the sexual abuse I endured for three years at the hands of my first coach.
Bradley
“There were many similar incidents during that time.”
When asked if he now harbors any feelings of pride, the father of three, Wiggins responded, “Yes,” emphasizing that he couldn’t have made such a claim a year ago.
“I take pride in the person I am becoming. I believe I am a good father to my children.”
Alongside Ben, Bradley has an 18-year-old daughter named Isabella from his marriage to Cath, which ended four years ago, and a three-year-old daughter named Ava Joy with Laura Hartshorne, from whom he too has separated.
While he used to associate his cycling success with his hardships, he now states they have “saved his life” and wouldn’t change a single aspect of that.
“Cycling genuinely sheltered me in many ways. I can’t imagine what my life would look like without it.”
“I wouldn’t wish to alter any part of my journey thus far, as how we respond to life’s challenges shapes our character. I believe my most significant years are still ahead.”
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“I believe that greatness arises from overcoming challenges and surviving trying times. I’ve encountered many highly accomplished individuals, and many do come from a ‘damaged’ background.”
Facing the Past
He emphasized how deeply his past has influenced him, stating: “The central factor that impacted me and one of the main reasons I struggled with thoughts of not wanting to continue living was due to the sexual abuse I experienced from my first coach for three years, between the ages of 13 and 16.”
“After evading acknowledgment of those events for thirty years, I realized it significantly influenced my successes as it served as a tremendous distraction during those years.”
“However, after retiring, I developed resentment towards cycling and blamed it for introducing me to that individual.”
Following an interview with The Times last summer, others came forward, claiming they too were victims at the same cycling club.
This experience felt liberating, providing the necessary external validation he sought.
In the past, I turned to alcohol under the belief that it aided my introversion, but it only heightened my anxiety.
Bradley
The complexity of this situation is vast. My relationship with my father, and growing up without a paternal figure, particularly due to his murder in 2008, weighs heavily on me.
Bradley shared that he grew up with feelings of unworthiness and lacked parental love due to his father’s absence, and after his departure, his mother became involved with a man who was “quite domineering” towards him.
He recalled: “My father left when I was barely a year and a half. I finally connected with him at 19 when he came back into my life after my accomplishments.”
“One memorable comment he made just a week into our reunion was, ‘Don’t forget you’ll never be as good as your old man.’ That has remained on my mind chronically as part of my healing journey.”
An Unexpected Ally
Speaking about the generous offer from Lance Armstrong, he mentioned he is considering taking him up on his suggestion.
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Reflecting on his initial reaction to Armstrong’s offer, he stated: “At first, I thought, ‘I don’t need help – how could you suggest that, but thank you for the offer.’
“That conversation took place five months ago, and now I’m considering reaching out to say, ‘Is that offer still on the table, Lance?’
“I wanted to regain some control in my life independently. Recovering without professional assistance being the singular credit for my progress was important to me. I truly wanted to center myself.”
“Now, I have a clearer idea of what I want to discuss with a therapist, focusing on my behavioral patterns and the underlying causes of these feelings and exploring those topics.”
“I didn’t wish to approach therapy as, ‘Just fix me.’”
“I will always respect my past. It has shaped who I am today. What I need to manage is not to remain tethered to the past but rather to reshape my relationship with it.”
People were capitalizing on my name in every direction, and I was utterly oblivious because I was engrossed in cycling.
Bradley
“I have a clear vision of my personal objectives.”
“Happiness is a transient emotion that ebbs and flows; however, fulfillment is something I have come to realize is far more profound.”
“I no longer consume alcohol because I have enhanced my decision-making processes, leading to healthier thought patterns.”
“Previously, I was compelled to drink because I viewed myself as introverted, assuming it helped relieve my anxiety – in truth, it only worsened it.”
Wiggins shared that he feels optimistic about stabilizing his finances after declaring bankruptcy in June, recently revealing that his company’s debts have surged to £2 million, twice the preliminary amount.
Once worth £13 million, he has lost his £975,000 family home, along with his property in Majorca, and is currently alternating living arrangements, often staying with his ex-wife.
However, he informed interviewers Jake Humphrey and Damian Hughes: “There was much professional negligence involved, and several forthcoming cases will enable me to reclaim a substantial amount.”
The complete interview can be accessed on The High Performance Podcast available on all major platforms.
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